Masala madness aint half as crazy as my kiddie-imagination!

Yesterday in book-land, I met Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer trying to get rid of their warts by burying a dead cat next to a wicked soul at midnight! Kids are soooo gullible!!! It reminded me of Kanan's cute post on childhood beliefs and my own childhood misconceptions. Here are some examples of my flagrantly filmi flights of fancy:
My earliest memories of filmi songs are of those that emanated from our tiny transistor radio. I was convinced that a miniature army of singers and musicians resided inside the radio and sang all those songs on demand! Of course, once I discovered TV, I was convinced that the same army now resided in there.
Before I discovered �playback� singing, I used to think all actors and actresses sang themselves, and could also sing without moving their lips (this, when I saw a song playing in the background with no lip-sync)! I spent ages in front of the mirror trying to sing with my mouth firmly closed before finally giving up on my ventriloquistic ambitions.


I thought playback singing involved singers and orchestra hiding behind the bushes/trees of the parks where the hero-heroine were dancing-n-singing and often craned my neck to see if I could spot them!
Loved how filmi children always left home on being scolded by their parents, leaving the latter bitterly regretting the scolding. I always wanted to do that, just to show my parents the error of their ways!
I couldnt understand how a filmi character (especially heroines) didnt recognise evil when it came in the shape of Pran or Ranjeet, when even I could see the were VILLAINS! I was also convinced that all the filmi dishoom-dishoom was real and cringed in pain for the hero when he got hit!
Wearing a fancy kathak outfit and dancing in front of paan-chewing men was wrong and made a woman a tawaif and unhappy. If they�d only be allowed to change into a saree or dance in front of women and children�
All those lost-and-found sagas gave me an abiding fear of being lost. In any crowded place I�d cling to the parents for dear life!
As a kid I measured wealth by the number of sweeping red-carpeted stairways rising in the middle of people�s living rooms. Since nobody had even one such stair, I concluded (rightly, in this case) that none of my acquaintances were rich!
This wasnt my flight of fancy, but it could so easily have been. A friend used to sing Qurbani�s famous Aap jaisa koi meri zindagi mein aaye to BAAT ban jaaye (If someone like you entered my life, it would be great) as Aap jaisa koi meri zindagi mein aaye to BAAP ban jaaye (If someone like you entered my life, he�d become a father)!!
Any crazy/funny/weird kiddie fantasies/beliefs you�d like to share? Come on, I�d like to know I wasnt the only one!

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