For children, divorce can be frustrating, sad, and confusing. Children of any age might feel angry upon realizing that their mom and dad are splitting up. Parents can make the entire process less painful for kids. This means providing stability and meeting your children�s needs with a positive attitude. It won�t be an easy task, but there are ways to help your children cope with divorce and come out of it as stronger persons.
Make clear to children that divorce isn�t their fault
When parents are splitting up, children usually assume that they�re somehow to blame. They think that if only they had behaved better or been more fun, their parents would have still been together. Set things straight and tell them why you decided to get a divorce. Hearing the real reason for your decision can help. You need to constantly reassure your child that they�re not responsible for divorce and that both parents will continue to love them.
Encourage them to express their feelings
Encourage your children to share their feelings and genuinely listen to them. Your children may be feeling frustration and sadness about things you may not have expected. Children may find it difficult to express themselves. You can help them by noticing their moods and encouraging them to talk. Also, don�t try to downplay their pain. Saying comforting things like �it�s better this way� will only sound like you can�t deal with their feelings or that they shouldn�t feel that way. Acknowledge your child�s feelings and offer your support and understanding. This way, they�ll be able to confront their disappointment, which will serve them later in life.
Give reassurance and love
Reassure your children that despite physical breakup of family, both parents will still be there for them. Let them know that you want them to have loving relationships with both parents. Also, physical closeness is a powerful way of convincing your child of your unchanging love. Little things such as hugs, pats on the shoulder or just proximity can help your child heal faster. It�s also important to be honest with them. When children express their concerns, answer truthfully. Tell children that things won�t always be easy, but that they�ll work it out.
Let them know your decision is final
Many children still have their hopes up about their mum and dad being a couple again. Your words and actions say a lot about how you feel and you might send the wrong message. Be certain that you know deep down you and your partner aren�t coming back together. This way you won�t give your children false hopes and it will enable them to recover faster. If you still haven�t started your divorce, you can turn to California�s online services for help. There you can find all the necessary information on filing for divorce in California.
Expand the family
After a certain period, a new pet can add joy and love to your home. Consider getting a puppy to brighten the mood and re-establish family bonds. Taking care of a dog is a great distraction, not to mention that they�re loyal companions that will ease your troubles.
Don�t neglect yourself
To help your children cope with divorce, you need to be calm and stable. There are many things you can do to improve your well-being. Eating healthy and exercising often relieve you from stress and frustration. Also, don�t hide from your friends and family out of fear that they might ask you about the divorce. See your friends regularly and take comfort in their presence. Keep laughing and try to make humor an integral part of your and your children�s lives. If you�re feeling intense pain, guilt, or anger, consider seeing a therapist.
Divorce can be messy and stressful and children suffer most from its consequences. Guide you children through the entire process and offer your love and support.
Guest Post by Tracy Clayton. About author:
Tracey Clayton is a full time mom of three girls. She loves cooking, baking, sewing, spending quality time with her daughters and she�s passionate in writing. Hers motto is: �Live the life you love, love the life you live.� Find her on Facebook.
Comments
Post a Comment